9 years ago today I said goodbye to one of my most favourite people in the entire world. He was only 54 years young and still had so much living left to do. I was only 22 and was not yet ready to live life without my dad. But cancer had other plans and took him from me and my family. I was starting to plan my wedding and although I was not going to have him walk me down the aisle (my husband and I walked down the aisle together hand in hand), I was crushed that he would not be there with me on one of the most important days of my life. He would also miss my University graduation which was *so* excited about. He missed seeing me get cancer and wonder why it let’s some win the battle and others don’t get a second chance. He wasn’t there when I bought my first car and house (same month!), or when I quit a job I wasn’t in love with to pursue my passion with nutrition (which he would have encouraged whole heartedly like he always did). He wasn’t around when my hubby was offered a job in California and we made the trek from Southwestern Ontario to Northern California. He never got to meet my niece and his granddaughter.
And on a day like today when I get angry and hurt that he is gone and dwell on what I have lost, I’ve decided instead to focus on how fortunate I am to have had him as long as I did. It’s not as long as I would have liked, but he was still around for quite a bit. And he was around long enough to help shape me into the woman I’ve become today that I am happy to be. Yes, I’m sad. So very, very sad. My heart hurts. Alot. And not a day goes by that I don’t think about him or miss him. But I I’m sad because of how great he was when he was around, and I’m going to embrace that.
I’ll remember all of the time he made for me to go tobogganing, swimming, walking, biking and shopping (his fav!). I’ll remember how you taught me to be a generous and kind person and to always help others. I particularly remember when I was quite young and my brownie troup had “Mother-Daughter” dinners that my mom could never attend as she worked nights, so dad would come along as “mom” for the night. I remember he always did my hair (80’s curls anyone?) and taught me how to cook. And his laugh! Sometimes I get especially sad as I feel like some of my memories are fading and I can’t quite recall some things anymore… but I can still hear his laugh in my mind. The most funny, contagious laugh ever =)
I am so lucky to have had someone like him in my life.